The Practice of Paying Attention

I am working on paying attention. Actually I have moved it up several notches, to reverence. In the midst of this fascinating book which I can relate to really well in terms of my relationship with both God and religion, is a discussion about reverence. About slowing down and considering things in their smallest, complete detail – to revere them. I am forced to do this somewhat reluctantly at this early hour, as my upstairs neighbour and the man delivering the paper once again engage in early morning discussion.

I live in a building where people know each other at least enough to say ‘hello’, and maybe ‘how are you’ although not many that you would ask ‘what are you at?’. In the mix is the fellow who lives above me, who is home much of the time, and prefers to smoke and pass the time on his balcony. And talk with the neighbours as they come and go from the building. This morning the man’s cats woke him at 5:00 AM, not that I know him well enough to ask, ‘Hey neighbour, what time did your cats wake you on this particular day?’. I heard him tell this to the paper delivery man, just before 7:00. You see, if folks see upstairs neighbour on his balcony, they always say a friendly ‘hi’, although often neighbour says so first. Sometimes, there follows a bit of chit chat about weather, the state of politics, the birds darting around protecting their nests, the stolen car aerial flags, and what have you. Today was the day to discuss the early rising (due to the cats waking him) as well as some critter that the paper guy saw early one morning. I have already forgotten what kind of critter it was; possibly an otter, a beaver, or a magical creature from some lagoon, so that part of it doesn’t matter I suspect. The point is that the chit chat is important for these two men today.

What does this have to do with reverence? Well, my first reaction is to get very short tempered about the noise outside my window. If you’ve read earlier entries to this blog, you know that we’ve been subjected to parties in the wee hours, midnight scurrying as people dodge their lease and move out, birds nesting in my bathroom fan and making all kinds of eerie noises, as well as the neighbourly chit chat outside. Reverence comes from looking at the minute details of the noise, considering what each person – particularly upstairs neighbour – is dealing with. The man is ill, very much so (although he does continue to smoke...but at some point, it no longer matters does it?), and has relatively few things to look forward to in his day. The contact that he gets from the balcony is company for him. He is the neighbourhood weather reporter, barometer, and crime watcher. When someone moved from the building, he let me know right away so that I could see the superintendent and claim a better parking spot for myself. He trims the neighbours cat claws for her so that she does not get scratched. He has a good heart and so the noise, while annoying in the midst of my reluctantly waking up, can be forgiven. Though I was up working and writing until late last night, being up early this morning means that I can get back to it and on to other things rather than wile the morning away in bed. This is the start of breaking down and looking at details, the beginnings of reverence.

Reverence takes time, and it takes practice I think. It is, however, a way to discover a different perspective on life. A way to uncover meaning, by looking at things on a small scale, and to reveal treasure within that we would otherwise have dismissed. It is not necessarily about discovering the divine, although it is really about uncovering the divine within everything. Next time something catches your attention, try looking at it again; that second look can make all the difference in the world.

If you are curious about the book, it is called An Altar in the World, by Barbara Taylor Brown, and the chapter I am referring to is called The Practice of Paying Attention. Fascinating.

Book Launches to The World!

The push to share Wake Up Live the Life You Love Empowered with the reading world went very well last week. With about 50 authors, including some really fascinating coaches (okay, me), a man who blows square bubbles (Geoff Atkins), a co-authors from Wake Up Women (Melinda Day Harper), and several highly public and recognized teachers of inspiration including John Assaraf, Michael Beckwith, and Brian Tracy. There’s even a little tidbit in there from Wayne Dyer.

The word empowered has taken a beating over the last several years. It’s been debated in PhD dissertations, and I recall last year there was a debate in Britain about removing it from common English usage, or something like that, because it is confusing. I remember the haranguing going on because it was taking place at about the same time that my chapter was being submitted. The debates fascinated me because in older usage, empower meant to pass power to someone. It’s a verb. Nowadays, in the self-help industry in particular, it has become a buzzword, referring to giving people there own power. I don’t see anything wrong with that at all. I think that the more aware people are of their own value, their gifts, their ability to serve and strengthen others, the better off we all are. As such, the book hit the marketplace last week in what we call a “push” with the marketing team and individual authors getting the word out and selling the books from the Barnes and Noble website. We made it to #4 on the Bestsellers list, and #1 on the Self-Help list. Not bad for a little book!

There really is a wealth of information, advice and insight here.

Expressions

There is a theme of loss countered with renewal going on for me right now. A sense of energy through the changes at work, but tempered by heart wrenching and unexpected loss. Two unrelated deaths that have really rocked people who are huge parts of my life, and it’s hard to find words that will meaningfully convey comfort to my loved ones . My expressions of love and condolence that I extend do not feel quite as though they are reflecting the full weight of my emotion when I say them, but words are all that I have since none of the people affected are close enough to actually, physically be with right now. Were I closer, I would do all those kind hearted comforting things people do at a time like this – many of which revolve around food (cooking, baking, preparing for others and sharing it), and some which involve providing a shoulder, offering a hug, or sharing a look. Those things are harder to do over the phone. Sometimes, even for someone who writes and has a pretty good grasp on language, words fall short.

Need a Rain Dance

My friends and family in Alberta are being subjected to a severe drought. Farmers are selling their cattle, and fields are producing very little. There is a good article here. Listen guys, the summer solstice is this weekend – some ceremonial rain dancing may be in order.

Great drought article here

Sleeping Remedy

On April 22, I announced I was promoted at work and taking on a new job, so if you’ve wondered about the boom of silence on here, dear reader, that was it. I am now well into my transition, having spent about several weeks of overlap between the two jobs, and quite enjoying the adrenaline rush, the learning and getting myself immersed in the newness. One unexpected bonus is that I am sleeping like a log at night – so much going on in the daytime, that my head and heart are full, and zonk! I’m out like a light!

Empowered!

I just had a moment. One of those heart skipping almost out of your body kind of moments. I am presently sitting in the student union building at Dalhousie. My daughter is writing one of her last final exams for the term, and I have the day off so I thought I would do some reading while she writes. One of the things I needed to do today was have a look at an advance copy of a book that I have a chapter in. The book is called Empowered, and it is part of the best-selling series from Steven E and Lee Beard called Wake Up…Live the Life You Love.

The idea with receiving an advance copy of the book is that each author gets a chance to read through it and make sure there are no errors. Given that this series of books goes through about four levels of editorial process (consultation, proofreading, line edit and contextual editing), I did not expect any errors, and I did not find any. The beauty of this exercise, for me, is that I have the entire book in my hand and so I also flipped through it and read several other chapters.

It’s been a long time since I submitted my chapter, nearly a year. There has, as is one of the themes in my life, been a lot of change in the past year; the focus of my work, my living arrangements, financial situation in light of the recession, and my relationship with God being the major ones. Looking back on it with the assistance of Empowered is uplifting. It felt exceptionally good to read chapters by some of the other contributors to the book, including Brian Tracy, John Assaraf and Dr. Wayne Dyer. Geoff Akins is in there too, brilliantly describing the art of a life that flourishes amid square bubbles. Melinda Day-Harper, whom I worked with on Wake Up Women, has a beautiful and inspiring message too. There is a lot here for you to read and think about, and then to act on. I am excited about getting my copies of the book, and sharing them with you as part of the goal to help people “Wake Up…Live the Life You Love”.

Here's to Your Success!

I want to share with you a few of the techniques that I used to get my new job. If you are looking, know that this stuff is important.

1) after the first interview, I followed up by sending a hand written thank you note to the hiring manager and the hr manager that interviewed me. Your note should be brief, genuine and need not be complicated. Try something like this:

Dear___________,

Thank you for interviewing me yesterday. It was a pleasure to meet with you, and I am looking forward to learning more about this opportunity.

(If you aren’t interested in the position any longer, you can use the note to say that too).

2) the hiring manager hoped to get back to my by Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, not having heard anything just yet, I sent her an email asking to meet together so that I could ask her some questions about the position. We met on Thursday. I had a list of six, in-depth questions that highlighted both my understanding of what the area needed, as well as looking at some ways to support the team quickly upon my joining.

3) I called my references to let them know what was happening, and sent them a copy of the cover letter and resume that I had used to apply for the position. That way, they don’t have to wrack their brains for dates or specific projects that I worked on. The information is there, in their email.

4) I negotiated my salary, and did a great job of it for the first time ever. Often companies have a rule about the way that an internal promotion is handled, and they put restrictions on how much of a raise you can get. Don’t buy that on the first pass.

a. negotiate your salary with your boss, not the HR person

b. discuss a salary that fits the position and the experience that you bring to it, in terms of the value that you bring to the role. Be flexible, but also clear on what your expectations are, and why. Know what similar positions in your region are paying, if at all possible. Your new boss will be clear too, but you won’t be able to negotiate anything once you sign that letter, so know what you are getting yourself into. Remember that sometimes we negotiate money, and sometimes we can negotiate things like professional development opportunities, vacation time, benefits, hours of work (if they lowball, will they consider a 4-day week?), and so on.

Good luck! Getting a job in a recession might be a little more challenging than usual, but that makes it even more satisfying, see?